Tuesday, February 18, 2014

The Darkness

A broken man
With a broken heart
Tried to break his body
So it would fit the part

What he felt inside
Didn't fit his face
He emitted radiance
He was full of grace

But he felt all alone
He wanted you there
His comfortable poison
You, without care

You hollowed him out
Left addiction and he
The only companionship
He could possibly see

So he drank it away
His light, his spark
He smoked and he snorted
Until all was dark

Cerra Hawkins

I Miss You

The shock of the event has all but gone
Our day to day lives have lumbered along
But I still miss you

Sometimes I'm still struck with intense emotion
By the thought of you going - just the notion
And I still miss you

I saw you in a dream the night before last
For a brief and fleeting moment I'd forgotten you'd passed
And then I missed you

I wonder what you're doing and where you are
What you see, what your hear, and if you are far
Because I miss you

I know in the end we will meet again
But tomorrow, next year, and until then
I'll always miss you

Cerra Hawkins

I have no words
My thoughts are racing in circles
I want you here
But I've never been so angry with you

Our loss is your gain
It was only a matter of time
But you left so suddenly
And my heart is heavy and torn

I can see your face
I hope it doesn't fade away
But it haunts me now
As I try to stop the pain

I will never know
The weight of the cross you held
But it's lifted now
And your burdens are no more

Embrace Him that died
So that you could be whole again
Be with Him now my brother
And peace be with our souls

Cerra Hawkins

Friday, February 25, 2011

A Love Letter to My Brother

You were so young
I was even younger
We were divided by disease and dysfunction
I can still smell your leather jacket
And feel it between my fingers
As they tore me from you
The night you left
The winter wind that came through the open front door
Chilled my tear soaked cheeks
But I barely noticed

You told me it was going to be okay
I wanted to watch you leave
I wanted to see where you were going
But they shut the door
The cold where I stood still remained for a moment
I didn't understand
Why they made you leave me
You were supposed to save me from it all
You were going to take care of me
I know you wanted to

I wrote you a letter because I missed you
I was too young to do it all by myself
The one who helped me was the one who sent you away
I didn't realize the irony at the time
When I got your letter back
I was so excited to see what it said
It was everything a good big brother would write
I kept it in my safe with my other valuables
I found it again from time to time throughout my life
It meant something different to me each time I would read it

Now I can write you a letter on my own
A letter to tell you how much you mean to me
To tell you how much I love and admire you
How I can only imagine the betrayal and hurt you felt
To say I may know some of how it felt
And hope you know how sorry I am for it all
Though I was a victim too
I wish you never had to face it
I'd let you know that I still miss you
But I know you are still there for me and always will be
Cerra Hawkins

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Âme Sœur

You tell me she's
Like I don't know
Like you are a part of what makes her
Like I am

You tell me you
Love her
Like you know
Like you've earned the right to
Love her
Like I have

You tell me you can see her
Like she lets you
Like your soul speaks to her
Like mine does
Cerra Ann Craven

Thursday, February 17, 2011


When I leave
I can still smell his smell on me
When I do I can't help but smile
And miss him

When I kiss him
Happiness surges through me
I only want to do it again
And I am happy

I wish he were mine
But I am content
With what we have
For it is wonderful

He is so small and fragile now
A blank slate with nothing but potential
Yet already he is a work of art
Pure and new
Cerra Hawkins